Men are like …

1. Laxatives. . . : They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Bananas. . . : The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Vacations. . . : They never seem to be long enough.
4. Weather. . . : Nothing can be done to change them.
5. Blenders. . . : You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
6. Chocolate Bars. . . : Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.
7. Coffee. . . : The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
8. Commercials. . . : You can't believe a word they say.
9. Department Stores. . . : Their clothes are always one half off.
10. Government Bonds. . . : They take soooooooo long to mature.
11. Mascara. . . : They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
12. Popcorn. . . : They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
13. Snowstorms. . . : You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.
14. Lava Lamps. . . : Fun to look at, but not very bright.
15. Parking Spots. . . : All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.