Thursday, October 21, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
How men change
The Love Word:
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?
Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?
Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!
Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??
New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?
TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!
Making Love:
After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight?
After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!!
After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!!
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?
Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?
Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!
Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??
New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?
TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!
Making Love:
After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight?
After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!!
After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Choosing A Wife
Halala Bafethu!!
It can be true. Why? Why? Why?!! Read on.
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of P5,000.00 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make Up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because She loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the R5,000.00. She gives him back his P5,000.00 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest bums. Men are like that, you know. You can never tell what they base Their judgment on.
If it were you, which one would you choose?
It can be true. Why? Why? Why?!! Read on.
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of P5,000.00 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make Up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because She loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the R5,000.00. She gives him back his P5,000.00 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest bums. Men are like that, you know. You can never tell what they base Their judgment on.
If it were you, which one would you choose?
Friday, February 19, 2010
Take a look at my photos on Facebook
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Monday, February 15, 2010
Dad In The Mall
SIGNS OF THE TIMES....
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court..
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.
The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response:
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court..
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.
The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response:
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
Keeping The Love Alive
Now that you've fallen in love with someone wonderful, are you wondering how to keep that love alive? Here's what you should be doing as a couple:
...Once a week
1. Fight (a little). Getting your grrs out keeps small annoyances from snowballing. Britain's longest-married couple proves it: Together 81 years, Frank and Anita Milford say their secret is "a little argument every day."
2. Walk hand in hand. Even just to your car after an evening at Waffle House.
3. Compliment each other. This one's a daily to-do, if you can. There's no nice thing that's too small to mention: his excellent taste in music, the way he always opens the door for you — it's all worth a verbal love tap. And he will swoon.
4. Make love (obviously). But also ...
5. Have generous sex. You need at least one sexual connection a week that's all about pleasing the other person. (Dear busy people: Feel free to multitask and make this the sex from before. Same goes for this next one ...)
6. Sleep together before work. Put down the straightening iron and heat things up this way: "Weekday morning sex is the secret sauce in a relationship," says Tristan Coopersmith, 33, coauthor of Menu Dating.
7. Get into bed and ... sleep. "Sometimes the best thing a couple can do to ignite their passion for each other is sleep," says Hillsborough, New Jersey, sleep expert Carol Ash. If you two aren't in the sleepover stage yet, co-napping has been known to work wonders too.
8. Let something go. Argue over the stuff that matters, but once a week let him (and yourself) off the hook for things that don't: Yes, he chews his popcorn loud. No, it won't kill you.
9. Laugh really hard. Laughter is a relationship's Krazy Glue: It bonds you. Uninspired? Fast-forward to the chest-waxing scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, or send him something snortworthy from funnyordie.com.
... Once a Month
10. Be do-gooders. Volunteering together (even just helping a friend move) bonds you because you're ID-ing "common values," says Elizabeth Lombardo, a psychologist in Wexford, Pennsylvania.
11. Do something scary. Been together a while? A pounding heart mimics the rush of brand-new love, says Patti Wood, an expert on nonverbal communication in Atlanta. Fly in a balloon, or order the sweetbreads for two!
12. Talk about money. Whether it's "Should we open a joint account?" or just, "Hey, let's split the bill tonight."
13. Brag publicly about him: his fearless pursuit of the mouse in your kitchen, the armful of hydrangeas he surprised you with, the raise he landed even in this economy. Surely once a month you can think of something that'll make him blush in front of your friends. He'll probably get you back too.
14. Declare something "this stays in Vegas." A silly nickname, or a crazy bedroom mishap. Share something intimate, then pull the couple bubble around you tightly.
...Once a week
1. Fight (a little). Getting your grrs out keeps small annoyances from snowballing. Britain's longest-married couple proves it: Together 81 years, Frank and Anita Milford say their secret is "a little argument every day."
2. Walk hand in hand. Even just to your car after an evening at Waffle House.
3. Compliment each other. This one's a daily to-do, if you can. There's no nice thing that's too small to mention: his excellent taste in music, the way he always opens the door for you — it's all worth a verbal love tap. And he will swoon.
4. Make love (obviously). But also ...
5. Have generous sex. You need at least one sexual connection a week that's all about pleasing the other person. (Dear busy people: Feel free to multitask and make this the sex from before. Same goes for this next one ...)
6. Sleep together before work. Put down the straightening iron and heat things up this way: "Weekday morning sex is the secret sauce in a relationship," says Tristan Coopersmith, 33, coauthor of Menu Dating.
7. Get into bed and ... sleep. "Sometimes the best thing a couple can do to ignite their passion for each other is sleep," says Hillsborough, New Jersey, sleep expert Carol Ash. If you two aren't in the sleepover stage yet, co-napping has been known to work wonders too.
8. Let something go. Argue over the stuff that matters, but once a week let him (and yourself) off the hook for things that don't: Yes, he chews his popcorn loud. No, it won't kill you.
9. Laugh really hard. Laughter is a relationship's Krazy Glue: It bonds you. Uninspired? Fast-forward to the chest-waxing scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, or send him something snortworthy from funnyordie.com.
... Once a Month
10. Be do-gooders. Volunteering together (even just helping a friend move) bonds you because you're ID-ing "common values," says Elizabeth Lombardo, a psychologist in Wexford, Pennsylvania.
11. Do something scary. Been together a while? A pounding heart mimics the rush of brand-new love, says Patti Wood, an expert on nonverbal communication in Atlanta. Fly in a balloon, or order the sweetbreads for two!
12. Talk about money. Whether it's "Should we open a joint account?" or just, "Hey, let's split the bill tonight."
13. Brag publicly about him: his fearless pursuit of the mouse in your kitchen, the armful of hydrangeas he surprised you with, the raise he landed even in this economy. Surely once a month you can think of something that'll make him blush in front of your friends. He'll probably get you back too.
14. Declare something "this stays in Vegas." A silly nickname, or a crazy bedroom mishap. Share something intimate, then pull the couple bubble around you tightly.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A Hilarious Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails
I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also.......
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc…..
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo...
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.... (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)
* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.
* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.
NOW IMPORTANT NOTE :
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm.
Nothing has happened till now....................... but who knows. So please forward.
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc…..
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo...
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.... (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)
* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.
* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.
NOW IMPORTANT NOTE :
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm.
Nothing has happened till now....................... but who knows. So please forward.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Chinese Share Valuables
When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others
Saturday, January 16, 2010
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