Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Marriage
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking... I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for
the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not
young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the every day workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.... To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office..... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind....I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in
themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking... I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for
the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not
young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the every day workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.... To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office..... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind....I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in
themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Sad but true
I DON'T SAY YOU CHEAT BUT YOU FORWARD TO ANYONE FOR A LESSON:
You may or may not believe it but the truth is it happened or its happening to be precise. There are lessons to be learned here just take time to read this little few passages they might save your life or a friends life.
My friend has been married for 5 years now. They have a 2 year little daughter. Like any other couple they do have their ups and downs, any way that's life. One day just after they had a fight over differences of opinion, the wife was doing her normal shopping at their local mall, when she met her long time varsity ex-boy friend. After a chit-chat, she discovered that he is doing well for himself and he is running quite a few tenders under his company. They exchanged numbers, from that day they started talking over the phone until plans were made to meet but how?
That's when the varsity boyfriend came with the plan that they should meet in Cape Town to spend a week together. She had to lie to her husband and claim she is going to a work conference at Cape Town for a week. Which she did and her husband took her to the airport on a Sunday. The ex-boyfriend had everything organized; the plane ticket and a nice beach holiday resort for both of them to enjoy. She left on Sunday evening to Cape town and arrived 2 hours later to a very romantic evening with her ex-boyfriend.
After the evening romance they made love but without a condom, off course they have known each other for a long time she thought. For the next days to come they had such a jool/ quad biking, cable riding. wining and dining at top restaurants and cafe's, something she hardly do with her husband.
They enjoyed everything money can buy until she left on Saturday back to Joburg. They had to use different flights to avoid being seen together (u know people talk). She was waiting for her husband to come and fetch her when she received a call from her ex-boyfriend. He told her that he was HIV-positive and the whole thing was not a co-incident when they met at the mall. The reason why he infected her with the disease was because he was jealous of the family she has and the beautiful woman she has become and the fact that he was financially successful but he is not happy because he knows that he is dying. At that moment she just stood there and froze.
Thinking what do I do now because it was already too late to take anti-retro viral. even if she lay a charge against him, it will only be but to expose herself for cheating her husband.
That's when she quickly took a taxi to her friends place. She told her friend everything that has just happened and ask for advice. Her friend told her to come clean with her man and tell the truth, anyway she has just lost everything and nothing to lose anymore. Which she did over the phone.
To my surprise even today. The husband went to fetch his wife at her friends place, he sat down with her and told her how much he loves her and reminded her of the vows he took at church with her and that it was a
terrible mistake she has done which unfortunately she has to pay with her life. He told her that he is never going to leave her, he has forgiven her and he will stick by her side no matter what comes.
Off-course she had to stay in another bedroom and he had to share the bed room with their little daughter.
What's currently happening is that, the wife is terribly sick she might die anytime. He told me this because he was asking me for prayer support) because he believes as a group of friends praying together, the stronger
the prayer might be. And the other reason was that I should let u guys know of such happenings as a warning to those who are contemplating cheating to weigh if its worth it! As I sit down and think about this experience, I thought to my self: why him? But I cannot seem to come with an answer. Then it stroke me that maybe there are lessons here;" You never know what you got until....".
The morale of the story being, As people we turn to undermine those who love us for a moments pleasure. We keep on chasing waterfalls rather than sticking to the rivers where we can swim with ease. to my brothers and sisters love the one you are with.
Amen to that.
You may or may not believe it but the truth is it happened or its happening to be precise. There are lessons to be learned here just take time to read this little few passages they might save your life or a friends life.
My friend has been married for 5 years now. They have a 2 year little daughter. Like any other couple they do have their ups and downs, any way that's life. One day just after they had a fight over differences of opinion, the wife was doing her normal shopping at their local mall, when she met her long time varsity ex-boy friend. After a chit-chat, she discovered that he is doing well for himself and he is running quite a few tenders under his company. They exchanged numbers, from that day they started talking over the phone until plans were made to meet but how?
That's when the varsity boyfriend came with the plan that they should meet in Cape Town to spend a week together. She had to lie to her husband and claim she is going to a work conference at Cape Town for a week. Which she did and her husband took her to the airport on a Sunday. The ex-boyfriend had everything organized; the plane ticket and a nice beach holiday resort for both of them to enjoy. She left on Sunday evening to Cape town and arrived 2 hours later to a very romantic evening with her ex-boyfriend.
After the evening romance they made love but without a condom, off course they have known each other for a long time she thought. For the next days to come they had such a jool/ quad biking, cable riding. wining and dining at top restaurants and cafe's, something she hardly do with her husband.
They enjoyed everything money can buy until she left on Saturday back to Joburg. They had to use different flights to avoid being seen together (u know people talk). She was waiting for her husband to come and fetch her when she received a call from her ex-boyfriend. He told her that he was HIV-positive and the whole thing was not a co-incident when they met at the mall. The reason why he infected her with the disease was because he was jealous of the family she has and the beautiful woman she has become and the fact that he was financially successful but he is not happy because he knows that he is dying. At that moment she just stood there and froze.
Thinking what do I do now because it was already too late to take anti-retro viral. even if she lay a charge against him, it will only be but to expose herself for cheating her husband.
That's when she quickly took a taxi to her friends place. She told her friend everything that has just happened and ask for advice. Her friend told her to come clean with her man and tell the truth, anyway she has just lost everything and nothing to lose anymore. Which she did over the phone.
To my surprise even today. The husband went to fetch his wife at her friends place, he sat down with her and told her how much he loves her and reminded her of the vows he took at church with her and that it was a
terrible mistake she has done which unfortunately she has to pay with her life. He told her that he is never going to leave her, he has forgiven her and he will stick by her side no matter what comes.
Off-course she had to stay in another bedroom and he had to share the bed room with their little daughter.
What's currently happening is that, the wife is terribly sick she might die anytime. He told me this because he was asking me for prayer support) because he believes as a group of friends praying together, the stronger
the prayer might be. And the other reason was that I should let u guys know of such happenings as a warning to those who are contemplating cheating to weigh if its worth it! As I sit down and think about this experience, I thought to my self: why him? But I cannot seem to come with an answer. Then it stroke me that maybe there are lessons here;" You never know what you got until....".
The morale of the story being, As people we turn to undermine those who love us for a moments pleasure. We keep on chasing waterfalls rather than sticking to the rivers where we can swim with ease. to my brothers and sisters love the one you are with.
Amen to that.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
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