Mature Eyes Only

Why?

• Why do we sleep during church, but when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?
• Why is it so hard to talk about God, but so easy to talk about bad things?
• Why are we so bored when we read a Christian magazine, but find it easy to look at a magazine of people?
• Why is it so easy to ignore a Godly message, yet we forward the useless ones?
• Why are churches getting sm aller, but bars and clubs are growing?
• Just remember God is always watching you.

'If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my father'.

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER - Maya Angelou

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER - By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say.... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Pretty is as Pretty does... But beautiful is just plain beautiful!

This is for all the BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, and you are one of them!. It is to be shared amongst women to boost their self esteem, and letting them know that you care about them.

Thoughts to think about

Thoughts to think about..... Don ' t compare yourself with anyone in this world. If you do so, you are insulting yourself You are not responsible for what people think about you but you are responsible for what you give them to think about you. Write your sad times in Sand; Write your Good times in Stone. Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart. Without your involvement you can't succeed. With your involvement you can't fail. Love your job but don't love your Company because you may not know when your company stops loving you You may get DELAYED to reach your Targets, But every step you take towards your target is EQUAL to Victory. It's better to lose your Ego to the one you Love, than to lose the one you LOVE because of your EGO. Don't make promises when you are in JOY. Don't reply when you are SAD. Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY. Think twice, Act wise. BE happy. When you start caring about yourself, you start loving somebody, But when you start caring about others somebody will start loving you. What is the Secret of SUCCESS...? 'RIGHT DECISIONS' How do you make Right Decisions...? 'EXPERIENCE' How do you get Experience...? 'WRONG DECISIONS' ......

Men are like …

1. Laxatives. . . : They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Bananas. . . : The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Vacations. . . : They never seem to be long enough.
4. Weather. . . : Nothing can be done to change them.
5. Blenders. . . : You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
6. Chocolate Bars. . . : Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.
7. Coffee. . . : The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
8. Commercials. . . : You can't believe a word they say.
9. Department Stores. . . : Their clothes are always one half off.
10. Government Bonds. . . : They take soooooooo long to mature.
11. Mascara. . . : They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
12. Popcorn. . . : They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
13. Snowstorms. . . : You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.
14. Lava Lamps. . . : Fun to look at, but not very bright.
15. Parking Spots. . . : All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Best Sex Joke Ever

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb
up to the top bunk.

As you might expect things start to heat up.  The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells his girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if she wants a new position.

Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
She screams
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Whoa!!!
PULL IT OUT!!!
PULL IT OUT NOW!!!
I can't get pregnant!
Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop  making sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!*!*!*!*!

Painful Divorce - wife vs Hubby

Dear Husband,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk panties. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your shows.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-wife
P.S. Don't try to find me... Your BROTHER and I are moving away to Spain together! Have a great life!

___________________________

Dear EX-wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my shows so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy'! Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, don't comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my brother, because I stopped eating meat seven years ago.

About those new silk panties: I turned away from you because the ?49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.

But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your EX-husband, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Caroline. I hope that's not a problem.

The mother and her three virgin daughters

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.
The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"! Mum was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. Nescafe Rich Blend Coffee, 475g It said: "Good till the last drop". Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans" Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size" She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town . Mum waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.  Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African  Airways" Mum took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA. The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways." Mum fainted!

Let Them Know – Nubia Group

As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me
She was my so called 'best friend '
I stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it...
After class, she walked up to me and
asked me for the notes
she had missed the day before
I handed them to her
She said 'thanks' and left...
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...

11^th Grade.....
The phone rang... On the other end,
it was her... She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her
love had broke her heart
She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alone, So I did
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go home
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and left...
I want to tell her, I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...

Senior year.....
One fine day she walked to my locker
"My date is sick" she said, "he's not going to go well",
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'
So we did...That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!" and left...
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...

Graduation.....
A day passed, then a week, then a month
Before I could blink, it was graduation day
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and left...
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...

Marriage.....
Now I sit in the pews of the church
That girl is getting married now
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it...
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came! '
She said 'thanks' and left...
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...

Death.....
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine;
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...
I wish he would tell me he loved me ! "
...'I wish I did too'...
I thought to my self, and I cried...

---

" Do yourself a favour, tell her/him you love them...
They won't be there..... Forever!!!