Daily Survival Kit

Today, I am giving you a

DAILY SURVIVAL KIT
to help you each day............
Toothpick ... to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone,including yourself.
Rubber band... to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want, but it can be worked out.
Band-Aid .... to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.
Eraser .... to remind you everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we learn by our errors.
Candy Kiss... to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment everyday.
Mint ... to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family & Me.
Bubble Gum... to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.
Pencil ... to remind you to list your blessings every day.
Tea Bag .... to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over that list of God's blessings.
This is what makes life worth living every minute, every day

Wishing you love, gratitude, friends to cherish, caring, sharing, laughter, music, and warm feelings in your heart.




I know this kit will help you get through the day.

FUNDAMENTAL ENGLISH

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?

Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?

No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?

All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?

No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?

No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?

She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?

I got proof.

What kind of proof?

She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover'.

Laugh out Loud - WHOSE COKE IS IT…?

A Man and his wife are in court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child. The wife jumped up and said, "Your Honour, I brought the child into the world with pain and labour. She should be in my custody". The judge turns to the husband and says "What do you have to say in your defence?" The man sat for a while contemplating. Then slowly rose.

"Your Honour, if I put a Rand in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, Whose Coke is it, the machines' or mine?"

A Story To Live By

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.

He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend,
'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her.
When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.
The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her.
She hadn't expected that.
The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying:
'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before,
and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word

- Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food

- Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife

- Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today before you complain about life

- Think of someone who died too early on this earth.
Before you complain about your children

- Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep

- Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive

- Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job

- Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another

- Remember that not one of us is without sin.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down

- Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.

How to take care of your wife:

In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

-- You make the bed (+1)
-- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
-- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
-- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
-- In the rain (+8)
-- But return with Beer (-5)
-- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
-- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
-- It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

-- You stay by her side the entire party (0)
-- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
-- Named Tina (-4)
-- Tina is a dancer (-10)

HER BIRTHDAY

-- You take her out to dinner (0)
-- You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
-- Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
-- And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)
-- It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

-- You take her to a movie (+2)
-- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
-- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
-- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
-- It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
-- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

-- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
-- You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

-- She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
-- You hesitate in responding (-10)
-- You reply, "Where?" (-35)
-- Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

-- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____expression (0)
-- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
-- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
-- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Used VS Loved

THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE MISSED, IN THE TIMES WE ARE

LIVING,WHERE MATERIAL IS OVERTAKEN HUMANITY!

Used vs. Loved

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father, with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions, sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.

The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life.... Things are to be used and people are to be loved, but the problem in today's world is that, people are used and things are loved...

During this year, let's be careful to keep this thought in mind: Things are to be used, but People are to be loved... Be yourself, this is the only day we HAVE.

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits they become character; Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder. God bless you; I hope you are having a wonderful day! If you don't pass this on to anybody, nothing bad will happen; if you do, you will have ministered to someone. The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not PROTECT you...

Stay FAITHFUL and Be GRATEFUL

Used VS Loved

THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE MISSED, IN THE TIMES WE ARE

LIVING,WHERE MATERIAL IS OVERTAKEN HUMANITY!

Used vs. Loved

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father, with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions, sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.

The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life.... Things are to be used and people are to be loved, but the problem in today's world is that, people are used and things are loved...

During this year, let's be careful to keep this thought in mind: Things are to be used, but People are to be loved... Be yourself, this is the only day we HAVE.

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits they become character; Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder. God bless you; I hope you are having a wonderful day! If you don't pass this on to anybody, nothing bad will happen; if you do, you will have ministered to someone. The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not PROTECT you...

Stay FAITHFUL and Be GRATEFUL

Who Does Not Have Eyes To See

THE FINAL BATTLE IS NEAR... JOEL3:2 & EZEKIEL 38 and 39 REVELATION 16:12-18 REVELATION 19:11,

And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him [was] called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.12,His eyes [were] as a flame of fire, and on his head [were] many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself.13,And he [was] clothed with a vesture dipped in blood:

and his name is called The Word of God

14,And the armies [which were] in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean,

15 ^aAnd out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God,

16 And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS & LORD OF LORDS.

ALSO READ, ZECHERIAH 12-14